Imagine a modern world in which Vlad the Impaler reigned in all his glory.Some would say there have been many similiar rulers upon the Earth in the past and of course even now in our present era. I must disagree though on that one and say that you will not find many at all who even come close to the weird legacy Vlad has left behind in his strange bizarre wake. The vampire has been spawned from his kingmanship.The immortal creature of the damned who feasts off the blood of the living. Spreading like a parasite with strong transferences if so chosen of making your host walk beside you in your footsteps as well as one of the eternal living dead forever. As I sit and stare at my Todd Mcfarlane action figure of the dark god himself done in plastic. No other furor has an action figure that I know of.Pondering Vlad and these unholy creatures of the devil. Which is interesting since Dracula means Son of the devil or dragon.Even more interesting is the fact that Vlad ruled in a group called The Order Of the Dragon. Who were indeed put on Earth to battle the forces of darkness of Satan himself in the name of Christ.
Why then would Vlad go to such extremes to maintain his Anti-Camelot in matters most extreme? Such as having his enemies impaled thru their orifices by the work of horses and hosting them up to rot in the sun and to be eaten by the flies alive whilst having a stick running thru their entire bodies? He would often sip from his grail and dip his bread in their blood and have dinner amongst the poked cadavers. Someone once complained and he decided to have them lifted up higher up than the others so he could not smell the smell as he died. The higher stakes conserved for the higher ups in politics and royalty. They obviously deserved to be hoistered higher up to the heavens. I am sure the skies rained blood during those times of intrigue and betrayal and war against the muslim turks and the armies of the Impaler marching in the name of Christ. Both sides using grotesque methods to keep the enemy in check. Vlad’s family buried alive and his Father leaving him in a peace treaty to the otherside to maintain war then breaking the treaty. Radu his brother and Vlad in the enemies camp and going thru much pain and suffering as the otherside sought to teach them their ways.His brother would always remain taken in by them to a point of actually plainly becoming Vlad’s enemy. Vlad would always hold vengeance in his dark heart and mind and he would have revenge. Three men wear turbins once entered his castle and refused to remove their hats of course this was insulting to the vampire prince so he had them nailed to their heads. If a man or woman happened to cheat during their marriage and the king of gore found out. He would simply have their genetelia removed and put on the town square. In that town square one would find a golden cup sat upon the stone. Filled with a drinkable substance.No one dared removed it to drink from it because it was placed there by the tyrant himself to enforce the no stealing laws. He was loved and feared say the memorial statues of him all around Transylvania. Where they wait with the wolves and fog for his return.Visitors from all over the world go there to tour the lovely sites of Transylvania. His castle and the grounds and forests and bands of gypsies selling T-shirts of his face and wooden clocks and small statues. Making a hustle and bustle from the prince of dragons.Ball room dances where the goths go to party til dawn.
Folklore says the gypsies await his return and have his treasure hidden for him waiting for the reappearance of Dracula himself. Vlad was said to meet with the prince of all evil himself in a secret school called Scholomance. Scholomance was a mythical school of black occultic magic said to have been run by the Devil himself. It was supposedly located near an unnamed lake in the mountains south of the city of Hermannstadt called “Sibiu in Romanian” in the Transylvania region of Romania. Just to give you a glimpse of the lore surrounding Scholomance I will show you some quotes from Emily Gerard a scottish author who wrote a book on Transylvanian Superstitions who mentions the school way before Bram Stoker did. Which goes as follows “As I am on the subject of thunderstorms, I may as well here mention the Scholomance, or school supposed to exist somewhere in the heart of the mountains, and where all the secrets of nature, the language of animals, and all imaginable magic spells and charms are taught by the devil in person. Only ten scholars are admitted at a time, and when the course of learning has expired and nine of them are released to return to their homes,the tenth scholar is detained by the devil as payment, and mounted upon an Ismeju (dragon) he becomes henceforward the devil’s aide-de-camp, and assists him in ‘making the weather,’ that is, in preparing thunderbolts. A small lake, immeasurably deep, lying high up among the mountains south of Hermanstadt,is supposed to be the cauldron where is brewed the thunder, and in fair weather the dragon sleeps beneath the waters.” Stoker who pulled from Gerard’s work said this in his famous book Dracula about the spooky place. In chapter 18:The Draculas were, says Arminius, a great and noble race, though now and again were scions who were held by their coevals to have had dealings with the Evil One. They learned his secrets in the Scholomance, amongst the mountains over Lake Hermanstadt, where the devil claims the tenth scholar as his due. And again in chapter 23: He dared even to attend the Scholomance, and there was no branch of knowledge of his time that he did not essay. Stoker’s reference to “Lake Hermanstadt” appears to be a misinterpretation of Gerard’s passage, as there is no body of water by that name. Any book you find on The Impaler will mention Scholomance the weird bizarre school of the devil where Vlad was said to have gone to learn many dark secrets. I’m sure the tenth fellow left behind would surely be in for a helluva hoot of a good time. One must wonder if the devil taught them the secrets of the vampiric immortality. Dracula’s body is missing no one can find it anywhere.Did thieves take it in the night it’s price priceless or did he indeed rise from the grave to live on forever?
Which thru the age of technology and Hollywood he indeed will. He does anyway everyone a soul that is eternal which may exist so in heaven or hell for all of infinity. My infactuation with Mr. Tepes started when I received a Dracula doll under the Christmas tree when I was in my Star Wars jammies around 8 years old.. I stare at my arms at 32 years old at the imagine of a Bela Lugosi style Dracula walking down a mountainside carrying his bride with a dark towering castle looming in the background. I have had dreams and those in the past ive known of the same pale man visiting their dreams with long black hair. Ones of him sitting with his wife on my couch and others seeing him bound in chains with angels flying around him.Was this the prince of poking paying me a visit? I do not know. I do know before his reign Haley’s comet passed thru marking the coming of the Dragon. A comet passed thru before the reign of Arthur Pendragon as well and well all we got as Applewhite of Heaven’s Gate for Hale Bopp back in 97. Unless you include me who was sitting indian style staring at that thing on LSD in my driveway in the country outskirts of Georgia.I write the ending of this article with slightly shakey hands and a paranoid feeling hoping on some level I have hit a point of bewilderment as well as my audience as to the mythical nature of the interest and spawned the gothic generation this man has helped produce.I hope he doesnt show up and stick a stake up my ass for doing him injustice.I mean look at poor Stoker he was poor to the bone and then died and Dracula finally brought in the big bucks to his family. Maybe Vlad was just misunderstood. Perhaps he was just a good Christian man caught in stressful times.War everywhere from his youth and bloodshed in Wallachia the Romanian land.
Vlad went to jail many times and if he could not get to humans to impale he would often impale birds and other small creatures to keep up the hobby.Imagine during this time if he reigned in America.Veto? Impale him! Disagreement with congress? Impale the whole house.He used fear to reign and his human mortal end came to a close with a death of him going to the countryside to admire his dead impaled bodies and he was jumped by give assassins and taken down to his death.It was said he gave them a battle that im sure all didnt make it home for dinner. Nonetheless he was cut down Ceasar style and his reign of terror was ended.Yet in a way it lives on thru to the future. Vampire cults and people drinking blood and all dressed in leather with contacts and fangs sharpened. A legacy spawn thru the blood shed of a historically fascinating bizarre pale big nosed man who wouldnt take shit from no one. Peeking around the room from side to side to make sure some wooden beam isnt going to be stuck up my ass. Transylvania gets hopes of Vlad returning, Britain Merlin and Arthur. We get usually old men in diapers. Sighz. Let’s start the impaling.